Wednesday, December 3, 2008

four: mirror, mirror on th wall that makes you see anyone but yourself and instead shows th one you've always been caring for

im so bored that i just want to sit here and rot my ass off forever, if nobody minds.
of course, nobody minds, so i'd probably do it.

someone jumped off a building here at th block next t mine.
i can almost see who'd be th next one t jump off in th future now.
some really tortured soul.
mama told me if you commit suicide, you'll be stuck in hell and won't ever get t reincarnate. and yes i freaking hell believe in that. so idk what i should do if nothing works out one day.
i'll go live under a mrt track with some homeless people and make friends with them.
i hope they'd be nice to me. i'd bring hot drinks and comfy-table blankets to them. i'd bring food too.
i won't let a soul know where i am.


on second thoughts, i could actually swim to another unknown island far away from singapore and claim that island as mine. if i ever learn how to swim for real.
there'll be a cosy little hut with a warm fireplace that i can cuddle near during cold days.
and yes there'd be four seasons.

during spring i'll be fishing and hunting for food to last me th entire year.
during summer i'll go sun-tanning and turn charcoal black so no one teases me being white anymore.
during autumn i'll be gathering my little pets like th cute little stray lambdog that i found on th island and some other animals i love so dearly into th house in preparation for th imminent snowstorms.
during winter, when snowfall is light, i'll throw snowballs into th frozen ocean and go gliding around in th frozen pond. and i'll snuggle up with a little lambdog-puppy th lambdog gave birth to in a warm armchair in front of th fire and read fairytale stories to my little lambdog-puppy.


i would kill to lead a simple life.
i don't like what i am now.
i want nothing but simplicity.
i want that little island and that little cottage. and that lambdog that exists only in my imagination.
i want t be alone, so no one can hurt me forevermore.
i'll remain happy forever.
no one can hurt me no more.

No comments: