hey you still got that picture of my heart? cuz i need it now

yo i remember i drew you a picture of a fuzzy heart, i really do hope you still got it cuz i need it but i don't know how to ask it from you, i wonder if you'd see this.
i need it now cuz that's how i feel now. really, really fucked(fuzzed)-up.


there is something on yours. lol and i can't be feelings any worse after reading that. its not like im going YAY. okay true at times i was going that. it hurts me too. i know im wrong in doing this too, like xl-ing? i don't want to but i can't bring myself to face her anymore after monday. i don't know how to. i get all upset even looking @ our pictures. what the hell has happened to us, used to be four, then it's three, i don't even know how many it is now O.O becoming 14 is sucha hard thing. i'd gladly stop growing up if i had a chance to, everything's complicated heh heh heh. why like that sia, im suffocating. exams leh. exams leh. why can't i study in peace. why need to bother all these things. that thing that happened that day, so wrong timing, so wrong thing, so wrong place. i was almost convinced i was done with it; now im more of confused all over again. what is wrong with everybody sia. the only thing im convinced of is that im the most screwed now. it's not about cheering up, so saying 'cheer up' helps fuck. i don't need no solution either. i can whole person sian diao every time someone asks me about it leh i tried talking about it, it doesn't help. yup maybe we should talk soon ah? not msn not text not phone call not email not what fuck. like, f2f yes? ya that's a good idea. : i've had enough. this is the #2 time, no? i need to study. i came home early today to study. i had a fucked up day @ school. then this happens. coOOOoOool. i wonder if i could talk to you tomorrow. honestly, im not afraid to say this but i feel annoyed every time i see you, i hope you don't take offence. lol.
am i very fucked up lol.