fat man coming through

you made me realise that i dont have to necessarily follow that path i see in front of me blindly just cuz there's a path. you made me see that eh there's actually alternatives. if i were to follow my own confused heart you'll soon see how i screw the whole bloody thing up. hesitating about twelfth, then fifteenth, then both twelfth and fifteen, i know that's gonna get me nowhere. im not saying your words showed me what to do but it did actually show me that it isnt all that complicated like i put it out to be. i dont know why either maybe im just plain useless but i cant help it. this is me. faith is shaking but you said i gotta keep having faith. i doubt i can hold on any longer and for once, i think i dont care if i let go/** lets go. really..? because somehow time went by so quickly i dont even give a damn anymore. your quotes and your words made me ashamed to even claim of the feelings that cant even be compared to anything. nope none. if people put me next to you and compare me to you, im not even a little full stop. what it is for me is habit. yours is true feelings. never knew i could hurt like this but hey eventually it passes, just like anything else.

the night when i poured every single thing to you i didnt feel a single thread of regret. the night when i dug the whole tragic-heart-breaking day of shamelessness to you i felt shattered. the moment when i fell asleep nothing mattered anymore except for catching the perfect dreams i wanted -.- see for how long it pierces me? not long.

msn is not. working. how i want. it. to.